You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
