There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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