508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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