Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
