he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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