Do you still have your period?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
