I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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