I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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