...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
