Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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