I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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