Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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