Buhtt sex?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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