Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
