have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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