Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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