Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
