me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
