He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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