Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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