Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
