shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
