I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
How external is "for external use only"?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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