Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he fucked my hip out of place.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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