i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
