she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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