this beer tastes like vomit already
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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