just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i've created a new STD.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The power of my boobs compel you
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
