in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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