i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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