Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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