If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
