And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
