i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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