We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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