Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
