he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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