I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
