Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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