Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
