Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
