I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
