So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
