My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
