he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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