y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
