dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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