So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
