I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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