If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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