Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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