I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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